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this story just popped in my head and i just had to write it and save it before it becomes another "stored" Story in my head.
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Mom?
I see his silhouette in the hallway light. He’s clutching his favorite pillow, his pajamas reaching his ankles. When did he grow so tall? I wonder to myself.
What’s wrong? I ask him.
I had a bad dream. Can I sleep beside you and daddy tonight?
Sure. I make space for him in the middle of the bed. He snuggles without hesitation. He still smells like a baby. I hold his hand. He lays his head on my chest. I hug him. I hear him sigh.
I miss moments like these when he was young and I had him all to myself. I was his one and only. Now I have to contend with the toys, his playmates, school, and other activities.
Do you want to talk about your bad dream? I ask him.
Just scary monsters. I might dream of them again when I go back to sleep. He says.
A few minutes of silence. I thought he fell asleep already.
Mom?
Yes?
Will you still let me sleep between you and daddy when I’m bigger and I dream of monsters again? he asked with worry in his voice. Lately he had been vocal about being all grown up and that he can do things big boys (his age) can do.
I smile.
Of course, as long as you need mommy and daddy, we’re here. Even if you’re a big boy.
That’s nice. Because I love sleeping beside you and daddy. It makes me happy.
My heart melts.
Showing posts with label all about me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label all about me. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
master of the kitchen
* this post was first posted in Inadvertently Domesticated. my 2nd contribution to the blog.
Link can be found in the title.
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Growing up, I’ve been surrounded by relatives who know good food and know how to cook them. Both my grandmothers on both sides were superb in the kitchen. My paternal grandmother has the best leche flans by my standards in the world! Nothing compares to how each container would produce the perfect flan. My maternal grandmother has the best laing ever, that her recipe can’t be duplicated after the first try. But since they both passed away, who were the lucky ones who inherited their recipes?
Certainly not I. My attempts in cooking can only be enumerated to frying hotdogs, spam, eggs and those easy to cook dishes. In short, pang tamad (for the lazy). As much as I would want to adapt the skill, it seems that it doesn’t like me that much. And did I mention that I have this fear of lighting the stove? Whether using matches or just turning the knobs, how’s that for a wimp?
My mother has been frustrated in attempting to teach me how to cook. How can I learn when during the first few attempts she always had to do it all over again because she wasn’t happy with the way I was doing it. Which left me with a broken heart for cooking, but my mother didn’t stop there. One day she left the house without preparing anything for dinner. She just left me a note on how to prepare adobo. I followed the instructions to the letter but with a few adjustments on the taste. After laboring in the kitchen for an hour, tired, and with no more appetite, I served the “experimental” adobo to my family. I was dreading the reaction from my family. But surprise! They loved it!
It wasn’t the same as my mom’s recipe but my family sure did love my own variation. I never felt so proud. It meant there was still hope for me in the kitchen! I’ve learned to cook sinigang and tinola which is quite easy.
But then, I’d rather leave all the yummy dishes served by P, because he cooks way better than I and he sure beats those other culinary students. Ms C can attest to his famous Chili Con. :) (you have to get us drunk first before we can give you the recipe).
Link can be found in the title.
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Growing up, I’ve been surrounded by relatives who know good food and know how to cook them. Both my grandmothers on both sides were superb in the kitchen. My paternal grandmother has the best leche flans by my standards in the world! Nothing compares to how each container would produce the perfect flan. My maternal grandmother has the best laing ever, that her recipe can’t be duplicated after the first try. But since they both passed away, who were the lucky ones who inherited their recipes?
Certainly not I. My attempts in cooking can only be enumerated to frying hotdogs, spam, eggs and those easy to cook dishes. In short, pang tamad (for the lazy). As much as I would want to adapt the skill, it seems that it doesn’t like me that much. And did I mention that I have this fear of lighting the stove? Whether using matches or just turning the knobs, how’s that for a wimp?
My mother has been frustrated in attempting to teach me how to cook. How can I learn when during the first few attempts she always had to do it all over again because she wasn’t happy with the way I was doing it. Which left me with a broken heart for cooking, but my mother didn’t stop there. One day she left the house without preparing anything for dinner. She just left me a note on how to prepare adobo. I followed the instructions to the letter but with a few adjustments on the taste. After laboring in the kitchen for an hour, tired, and with no more appetite, I served the “experimental” adobo to my family. I was dreading the reaction from my family. But surprise! They loved it!
It wasn’t the same as my mom’s recipe but my family sure did love my own variation. I never felt so proud. It meant there was still hope for me in the kitchen! I’ve learned to cook sinigang and tinola which is quite easy.
But then, I’d rather leave all the yummy dishes served by P, because he cooks way better than I and he sure beats those other culinary students. Ms C can attest to his famous Chili Con. :) (you have to get us drunk first before we can give you the recipe).
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Motherhood
my first contribution to Kerol and her sister's blog. i was asked to write for them, share some insights about being a woman, a wife, a friend and everything in between.
i also consider myself as a non domestic diva.
click on the title to go to their site
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I wasn’t prepared for motherhood.
When P and I were still dating, both at a very young age of 23, both climbing the corporate ladder and establishing our careers in sales, P for an FMCG, while I was working for an local online portal in sales. The thought of being parents never crossed our minds. We were enjoying the moment of going out on impromptu road trips, dates after work, getting pissed drunk and not worrying about it the next day. That time, we were living the “perfect” life.
I never imagined myself being a mom. I had this idea that I would marry when I turn 30, with a well compensated job and maybe 1 kid. But then fate took a different course (not that I’m blaming fate), in 2004, I found out I was pregnant. The moment I saw those to pink lines I didn’t know what to do. I could not fathom the idea that at the age of 23, I was going to be a mom. I was still childish. I didn’t have a 5 year plan, long term goals and all that adult stuff. I lived in the moment.
How could I be a mom this young? I didn’t have any domestic skills at all. I can’t even cook a decent meal, I hated the thought of washing and ironing clothes, cleaning the house was literally a chore. What more, taking care of an infant? It took me the whole pregnancy to deal with these issues. I was scared, worried. Sure, I had taken care of my younger brothers when they were babies, but this was totally different, this person will come from me. I can’t hand the baby over to somebody else when there’s something wrong.
Everyday I was drowning in emotions. I was happy because I’ll have a baby, worried how can I take care of the baby when I don’t have any mommy instincts in me, depressed how can P and I provide for this baby? Seems like all the things mentioned in the book What to Expect, I went through.
The moment I was able to hold my son in my arms for the first time it felt like a motherhood switch was turned on. It felt like I finally knew what to do. It felt like I was meant to be a mom. Maybe I was one of the lucky ones to feel the motherhood vibe, that Johnson and Johnson mommy – child bonding, with tears rolling down the cheeks. Cheesy, but it’s true.
I wasn’t prepared for motherhood and being a mom, but I wasn’t prepared for the surprise that all the while I had it in me to be a mom. My son just had to turn on that switch. And after three wonderful kids, it feels like I have been doing this forever.
i also consider myself as a non domestic diva.
click on the title to go to their site
------
I wasn’t prepared for motherhood.
When P and I were still dating, both at a very young age of 23, both climbing the corporate ladder and establishing our careers in sales, P for an FMCG, while I was working for an local online portal in sales. The thought of being parents never crossed our minds. We were enjoying the moment of going out on impromptu road trips, dates after work, getting pissed drunk and not worrying about it the next day. That time, we were living the “perfect” life.
I never imagined myself being a mom. I had this idea that I would marry when I turn 30, with a well compensated job and maybe 1 kid. But then fate took a different course (not that I’m blaming fate), in 2004, I found out I was pregnant. The moment I saw those to pink lines I didn’t know what to do. I could not fathom the idea that at the age of 23, I was going to be a mom. I was still childish. I didn’t have a 5 year plan, long term goals and all that adult stuff. I lived in the moment.
How could I be a mom this young? I didn’t have any domestic skills at all. I can’t even cook a decent meal, I hated the thought of washing and ironing clothes, cleaning the house was literally a chore. What more, taking care of an infant? It took me the whole pregnancy to deal with these issues. I was scared, worried. Sure, I had taken care of my younger brothers when they were babies, but this was totally different, this person will come from me. I can’t hand the baby over to somebody else when there’s something wrong.
Everyday I was drowning in emotions. I was happy because I’ll have a baby, worried how can I take care of the baby when I don’t have any mommy instincts in me, depressed how can P and I provide for this baby? Seems like all the things mentioned in the book What to Expect, I went through.
The moment I was able to hold my son in my arms for the first time it felt like a motherhood switch was turned on. It felt like I finally knew what to do. It felt like I was meant to be a mom. Maybe I was one of the lucky ones to feel the motherhood vibe, that Johnson and Johnson mommy – child bonding, with tears rolling down the cheeks. Cheesy, but it’s true.
I wasn’t prepared for motherhood and being a mom, but I wasn’t prepared for the surprise that all the while I had it in me to be a mom. My son just had to turn on that switch. And after three wonderful kids, it feels like I have been doing this forever.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
the strangest dream
a few nights ago i had the most bizarre and disturbing dream ever. it was so vivid that the moment i woke up, i could still recall the same scene over and over again.
i saw a white coffin with someone inside. but i don't know who that person was. a few moments after, i saw a green snake under the coffin. and then i woke up.
i had to research what these things mean, and here's what i found out:
oookay. sure i was going through rough waters, and was actually thinking if i was bordering on depression. and here's the dream's meaning that i might be. and yes, there are issues and people that have been bothering me the past few months. is this a sign that it's time to let go?
how about the snake?
now this is interesting. the coffin and the snake works together. my dreams are telling me something. i think it's time to address these issues. but first, to consult hubby about these dreams.
i saw a white coffin with someone inside. but i don't know who that person was. a few moments after, i saw a green snake under the coffin. and then i woke up.
i had to research what these things mean, and here's what i found out:
To see a coffin in your dream, symbolizes the womb. It also signifies your thoughts and fears of death. If the coffin is empty, then it suggests that you are having some irreconcilable differences. Alternatively, the coffin represents ideas and habits that you are no longer of use and can be buried.
To see a body in a coffin, signifies that you are going through a period of depression. You may feel confined, restricted and that you are lacking personal freedom. There may be a dead or decaying situation or issue in your life that needs to be addressed. It is time to end this situation or relationship.
oookay. sure i was going through rough waters, and was actually thinking if i was bordering on depression. and here's the dream's meaning that i might be. and yes, there are issues and people that have been bothering me the past few months. is this a sign that it's time to let go?
how about the snake?
To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality. If you are afraid of the snake, then it signifies your fears of sex, intimacy or commitment. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes. meanings by DreamMoods.com
To see the skin of a snake in your dream, represents protection from illnesses.
To dream that you are eating a live snake, indicates that you are looking for intimacy or sexual fulfillment. Your life is lacking sensuality and passion. If you vomit or throw up the snake, then it may mean that you are overcompensating for something that is lacking in your life. You may be rushing into something.
now this is interesting. the coffin and the snake works together. my dreams are telling me something. i think it's time to address these issues. but first, to consult hubby about these dreams.
Monday, April 5, 2010
shoe envy
i've been on the lookout for the perfect purple shoes for my wedding, and i'm stuck. i've got a lot of photos over the net and i don't know which one to choose to have customized. yes, if i can't purchase it online, i'm going to have it custom made. :)
now, help me choose:
the studs are fab! but it doesn't work with our 1920's theme. but the color, to die for!
choices, choices, choices...
now, help me choose:
choices, choices, choices...
shaping up
my weight has seriously bothered me for quite a while. it started when i first had my shot of depo-provera aka injectibles. i was forewarned by my ob that i would feel a little bloated after a month or so.
a little bloated was a lie. boy i did gain a lot. embarrassing as it may sound, but i'm now at 130lbs. 15lbs heavier than my ideal weight.
as of my last check up/shot with my ob, she said, i had to lose those 15lbs. at first i wasn't that worried since i don't look that heavy and people have said i looked better now.
but, there's a wedding in november and I HAVE TO SHED these pounds off. i wouldn't want to look all bloated and "chubby" on my wedding day.
so, i started taking l carnatine and green tea capsules 3x a day (aka fitrum) the other slimming pills in the market scare me. sure, it's effective and all but the thought of feeling oil coming out of you involuntarily doesn't sound so appealing at all.
and i also plan to go to the gym by this month. good thing our office has a corporate package with one of the well known gyms here in the metro. as soon as i settle the LAST payment for my credit card. i'm debt free and can really save up for the kid's future.
now let's see in the coming months if i do shed off these pounds, maybe more!
wish me luck!
a little bloated was a lie. boy i did gain a lot. embarrassing as it may sound, but i'm now at 130lbs. 15lbs heavier than my ideal weight.
as of my last check up/shot with my ob, she said, i had to lose those 15lbs. at first i wasn't that worried since i don't look that heavy and people have said i looked better now.
but, there's a wedding in november and I HAVE TO SHED these pounds off. i wouldn't want to look all bloated and "chubby" on my wedding day.
so, i started taking l carnatine and green tea capsules 3x a day (aka fitrum) the other slimming pills in the market scare me. sure, it's effective and all but the thought of feeling oil coming out of you involuntarily doesn't sound so appealing at all.
and i also plan to go to the gym by this month. good thing our office has a corporate package with one of the well known gyms here in the metro. as soon as i settle the LAST payment for my credit card. i'm debt free and can really save up for the kid's future.
now let's see in the coming months if i do shed off these pounds, maybe more!
wish me luck!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
to cut or let it grow
my hair's been quite a mess for almost a month now. a huge mess. it's more confused than i am. it's too long to be a short 'do, but too short for a shoulder length do.
now i'm all torn in cutting it, and go back to my usual short hair or grow it long so that there'll be more styles in time for my wedding.
but for now i'm loving this 'do:
now with this hair do, how do i maintain it? do i have to use a hairdryer everyday? wax? styling serum? anti-frizz serums?
i'd rather not post what my hair looks like now or else i might lose the handful of readers i have now. hahaha!
now i'm all torn in cutting it, and go back to my usual short hair or grow it long so that there'll be more styles in time for my wedding.
but for now i'm loving this 'do:
now with this hair do, how do i maintain it? do i have to use a hairdryer everyday? wax? styling serum? anti-frizz serums?
i'd rather not post what my hair looks like now or else i might lose the handful of readers i have now. hahaha!
Monday, February 22, 2010
updates updates
since i'm on a blogging high today, might as well post things we've been up to as a family.
keon's finally going to school this june! and the people who are on the same level of excitement as ours are his future teacher! she was able to meet him for a trial run for a week. and he was the star of the class. sadly that time, he just turned 2 and he's quite young to go to school this fear of seeing him bored before he hits his highschool term scares me. keon has this tendency to get bored easily so putting him in school after he turns three sounds reasonable. since his attention span is much better compared to when he was 2. and his vocabulary has blossomed! it felt like he was talking in straight sentences from the moment he was born! such a talkative boy! make that 2 boys! conversations with kyle feels like talking to a grown up already!
wedding preps are in full blast. more updates on my wedding blog. :)
work has been fun even with a very intimidating quota/target. but i know our team can make it! the incentive's a great motivator! hahaha
whew, so far, that's what's been on my mind lately. will update/revive this blog as i go along. :)
but you can find me on twitter, tumblr, plurk and facebook LOL
keon's finally going to school this june! and the people who are on the same level of excitement as ours are his future teacher! she was able to meet him for a trial run for a week. and he was the star of the class. sadly that time, he just turned 2 and he's quite young to go to school this fear of seeing him bored before he hits his highschool term scares me. keon has this tendency to get bored easily so putting him in school after he turns three sounds reasonable. since his attention span is much better compared to when he was 2. and his vocabulary has blossomed! it felt like he was talking in straight sentences from the moment he was born! such a talkative boy! make that 2 boys! conversations with kyle feels like talking to a grown up already!
wedding preps are in full blast. more updates on my wedding blog. :)
work has been fun even with a very intimidating quota/target. but i know our team can make it! the incentive's a great motivator! hahaha
whew, so far, that's what's been on my mind lately. will update/revive this blog as i go along. :)
but you can find me on twitter, tumblr, plurk and facebook LOL
Monday, February 1, 2010
wedding preps
the past few months have been quite crazy and hectic for hubby and i. we've been focused aside from work, our wedding preps. as of this posting, we've only got 7 months left. and it scares me. we've still have a lot to cover.
-meeting potential suppliers
-my assignment from my coordinator
-forms and other documents
-the dreaded guestlist
-meeting with our principal sponsors
-gown fitting - we have to find the best couturier first.
-payments
a lot!
it's a blessing that we also have a good good friend who'll help coordinate our wedding. and she had been gracious enough to provide her services for free since we've bonded over beer and seafood way way before everything had materialized. she had been making kulit and finally the day is here!
if you want to know what's going on in my wedding preps,just click on the title and you'll be directed to my wedding preps blog. (as if this blog isn't enough)
oh well. time to try to catch up on my blogging soon!
and if that isn't enough, we have a wedsite! hahaha
http://www.mywedding.com/hazepitoy
-meeting potential suppliers
-my assignment from my coordinator
-forms and other documents
-the dreaded guestlist
-meeting with our principal sponsors
-gown fitting - we have to find the best couturier first.
-payments
a lot!
it's a blessing that we also have a good good friend who'll help coordinate our wedding. and she had been gracious enough to provide her services for free since we've bonded over beer and seafood way way before everything had materialized. she had been making kulit and finally the day is here!
if you want to know what's going on in my wedding preps,just click on the title and you'll be directed to my wedding preps blog. (as if this blog isn't enough)
oh well. time to try to catch up on my blogging soon!
and if that isn't enough, we have a wedsite! hahaha
http://www.mywedding.com/hazepitoy
Monday, January 18, 2010
what have i been up to?
for the longest time, i have been neglecting this blog. much of what happens to me on a daily basis has/had been logged in 2 of my planners. one for daily thoughts and rants and the other for wedding preps.
hubby and i have been going through a lot of potential suppliers. one criteria that ranks high on our list is how much we can get from their rates, the cheaper but with a lot to give, the better. and so far, we're still trimming down our lists.
9 months into the planning and i can feel the stress and the pressure. but we've booked 2 out of the our 3 major suppliers: the church and the venue. next on the list is the photo/video. 60% of the budget goes to them. the rest, we can find cheaper ones - especially for the attire. finding a good "mananahi" that can copy our pegs works fine for me. ms. practical in me screams that i only get to wear my gown once so there's no need to make it really bongga. i'm all for the comfort.
on the homefront, things are still much the same. the kids have been reserved for next school year and we're tickled with excitement at the thought of keon going to school. he'll sure wow the class. that's how confident we are of him. our little wonder, next to kyle.
kade, has turned 6 months. and i still can't believe that it has been half a year already! he's such a little bundle of surprises. he's now into solids and quite the hefty eater! 5 scoops using his spoon is enough for him. to think he just started a week ago! how's that for matakaw? :)
i guess i shall focus now on the wedding preps blog so that i won't forget any details or pegs to use.
hubby and i have been going through a lot of potential suppliers. one criteria that ranks high on our list is how much we can get from their rates, the cheaper but with a lot to give, the better. and so far, we're still trimming down our lists.
9 months into the planning and i can feel the stress and the pressure. but we've booked 2 out of the our 3 major suppliers: the church and the venue. next on the list is the photo/video. 60% of the budget goes to them. the rest, we can find cheaper ones - especially for the attire. finding a good "mananahi" that can copy our pegs works fine for me. ms. practical in me screams that i only get to wear my gown once so there's no need to make it really bongga. i'm all for the comfort.
on the homefront, things are still much the same. the kids have been reserved for next school year and we're tickled with excitement at the thought of keon going to school. he'll sure wow the class. that's how confident we are of him. our little wonder, next to kyle.
kade, has turned 6 months. and i still can't believe that it has been half a year already! he's such a little bundle of surprises. he's now into solids and quite the hefty eater! 5 scoops using his spoon is enough for him. to think he just started a week ago! how's that for matakaw? :)
i guess i shall focus now on the wedding preps blog so that i won't forget any details or pegs to use.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
yaya-less
we had a trying long weekend. hubby and i made plans to take out the three kids since it was a long weekend. but then one thing ruined all our plans.
kyle's yaya left. just like that.
she has been expressing for quite a while that she wanted to leave already but we had to persuade her to stay for a little bit longer. and the last time she asked if she can leave we agreed, on one condition. once we find a replacement, she can leave.
but with the turn of events. her sister working for my MIL, them having a bit of a aquabble, everything that was agreed upon, was left to nothing. when i heard this, i was mad. who wouldn't? taking care of 3 kids is no joke and i need all the extra hands. and here she goes packing up.
what made me more annoyed was the fact that she was just waiting for her monthly salary. once hubby handed it over to her, she grabbed her bags, said her thanks and left.
i don't want to call her an ingrate but from the way she acted. she deserves to be called such.
not to be bitter or anything bu i sure hope their decision to leave would be fruitful and they get to find a much better boss than us. we were never selfish, we always let them go on day offs even if we stated from the start that they can have one once a month. we were that nice. we never treated them as people below us. we treated them nice because they were the second caregivers to my kids when i'm not at home.
but if ever she does come back, i won't accept her anymore. she decided to leave, we decided to look for someone much better.
now i'm hoping the new yaya we'll meet tomorrow would be much better and would be a gem. and i sure hope kyle and keon would like her. the deciding factor would be my kids. they're good judges of character.
kyle's yaya left. just like that.
she has been expressing for quite a while that she wanted to leave already but we had to persuade her to stay for a little bit longer. and the last time she asked if she can leave we agreed, on one condition. once we find a replacement, she can leave.
but with the turn of events. her sister working for my MIL, them having a bit of a aquabble, everything that was agreed upon, was left to nothing. when i heard this, i was mad. who wouldn't? taking care of 3 kids is no joke and i need all the extra hands. and here she goes packing up.
what made me more annoyed was the fact that she was just waiting for her monthly salary. once hubby handed it over to her, she grabbed her bags, said her thanks and left.
i don't want to call her an ingrate but from the way she acted. she deserves to be called such.
not to be bitter or anything bu i sure hope their decision to leave would be fruitful and they get to find a much better boss than us. we were never selfish, we always let them go on day offs even if we stated from the start that they can have one once a month. we were that nice. we never treated them as people below us. we treated them nice because they were the second caregivers to my kids when i'm not at home.
but if ever she does come back, i won't accept her anymore. she decided to leave, we decided to look for someone much better.
now i'm hoping the new yaya we'll meet tomorrow would be much better and would be a gem. and i sure hope kyle and keon would like her. the deciding factor would be my kids. they're good judges of character.
what are you thankful for 2009?
the year is about to end and it's time to look back on things that happened. but i would rather dwell on the good things. things that my family and i are thankful for.
thank you for good news at the start of the year
- finding out we were having another angel on the way was the best surprise ever.
thank you for our proud moments
- going up on stage and receiving our son's honor awards and milestones they learn and discover everyday
thank you for long nights in the office, strained eyes, hot heads, and stress
- all of these had paid off in the end, and the reward that came after was all worth it.
thank you for sleepless nights, spit ups, diaper changes, and all that jazz with a newborn
- enough said
thank you for parents and siblings
- they can be our back up babysitters when the nanny goes away
thank you for a supportive hubby
- that in those days where i was down and out, depressed, feeling ugly, he was there to cheer me up, make me feel beautiful again - without asking him to. he just knows.
and the best part of 2009?
everyone else returning the favor by saying thank you back.
This is my entry to Avalon.ph’s Moleskine contest. Click here to find out more.
thank you for good news at the start of the year
- finding out we were having another angel on the way was the best surprise ever.
thank you for our proud moments
- going up on stage and receiving our son's honor awards and milestones they learn and discover everyday
thank you for long nights in the office, strained eyes, hot heads, and stress
- all of these had paid off in the end, and the reward that came after was all worth it.
thank you for sleepless nights, spit ups, diaper changes, and all that jazz with a newborn
- enough said
thank you for parents and siblings
- they can be our back up babysitters when the nanny goes away
thank you for a supportive hubby
- that in those days where i was down and out, depressed, feeling ugly, he was there to cheer me up, make me feel beautiful again - without asking him to. he just knows.
and the best part of 2009?
everyone else returning the favor by saying thank you back.
This is my entry to Avalon.ph’s Moleskine contest. Click here to find out more.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
before the month ends
i have been so caught up with work that this blog took a backseat. and it saddens me that i've neglected my blog for weeks. i've stored up lots of stories but i just didn't have the time at all.
so what have i been up to?
> i finally received the blessings i was waiting for a long time. this helped a lot with the family expenses. and at least now, i'm down to one loan payment. yey!
> the first 3 months of my injectibles and so far, it has been smooth sailing. the bad part though is the weight gain, but i'm not complaining, people said i looked better now. :)
> the kids are doing great. kyle's done with his 2nd quarter exams which i hope he passed with flying colors. we're also hoping for a first honor award this time. keon's still struggling with his terrible twos, he's been quite clingy to his yaya and usually ends up crying over little things. kade's growing up so fast that i can't believe he's turning 4 months already!
> we're already working on kade's baptism this november. just a little get together with friends and family.
> work has been great. it's not routine like it was before and now we've got more people on the team compared to a few months before when it was only me. one woman team for the digital department. :)
> hubby's doing great at work too. he's no longer frazzled and stressed unlike the first few months when he got promoted. but of course, the stress of manning a staff of 120 people comes with the job. thank god that there are only a handful of those who are disobedient. :)
so what have i been up to?
> i finally received the blessings i was waiting for a long time. this helped a lot with the family expenses. and at least now, i'm down to one loan payment. yey!
> the first 3 months of my injectibles and so far, it has been smooth sailing. the bad part though is the weight gain, but i'm not complaining, people said i looked better now. :)
> the kids are doing great. kyle's done with his 2nd quarter exams which i hope he passed with flying colors. we're also hoping for a first honor award this time. keon's still struggling with his terrible twos, he's been quite clingy to his yaya and usually ends up crying over little things. kade's growing up so fast that i can't believe he's turning 4 months already!
> we're already working on kade's baptism this november. just a little get together with friends and family.
> work has been great. it's not routine like it was before and now we've got more people on the team compared to a few months before when it was only me. one woman team for the digital department. :)
> hubby's doing great at work too. he's no longer frazzled and stressed unlike the first few months when he got promoted. but of course, the stress of manning a staff of 120 people comes with the job. thank god that there are only a handful of those who are disobedient. :)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
a year older, a year wiser
and so another year has passed. turned another year older, but wiser. with a better and bigger perspective on things. i may joke around people asking me my age and i quickly retort to turning 25 or 21 depending on my mood. it was the shallow part in me that i didn't want to let go. the fear of getting old.
but with having 3 kids, things turned around. i've started to look forward in seeing them grow up as i get older. seeing them discover things about themselves as i have experienced when i was their age. it was like seeing myself in them, times 3.
i've learned a lot of things in the many years i've had my birthdays. but it was only then that when i started to have a family of my own that the things i wish for and the things that i want weren't for myself but for those 4 people who have been in my heart. i've learned to be more serious in making decisions. i've learned to take things in perspective, being in the other person's shoes and to just let go sometimes. i've learned to laugh, wholeheartedly. not to be too serious always. it was then that i have realized that i had indeed grown up. i was an adult.
on a lighter note, since i wasn't expecting to get any gifts, it was a pleasant surprise to see my kids,kyle and keon singing to me a happy birthday the moment i woke up. with a hug and a kiss and cuddles, it was the best birthday gift ever. a gurgle from kade and his contented sigh once i rest his head on my chest and hubby's presence tops the list of my best birthday gifts ever.
and here's to more years of learning new things along the way. =)
but with having 3 kids, things turned around. i've started to look forward in seeing them grow up as i get older. seeing them discover things about themselves as i have experienced when i was their age. it was like seeing myself in them, times 3.
i've learned a lot of things in the many years i've had my birthdays. but it was only then that when i started to have a family of my own that the things i wish for and the things that i want weren't for myself but for those 4 people who have been in my heart. i've learned to be more serious in making decisions. i've learned to take things in perspective, being in the other person's shoes and to just let go sometimes. i've learned to laugh, wholeheartedly. not to be too serious always. it was then that i have realized that i had indeed grown up. i was an adult.
on a lighter note, since i wasn't expecting to get any gifts, it was a pleasant surprise to see my kids,kyle and keon singing to me a happy birthday the moment i woke up. with a hug and a kiss and cuddles, it was the best birthday gift ever. a gurgle from kade and his contented sigh once i rest his head on my chest and hubby's presence tops the list of my best birthday gifts ever.
and here's to more years of learning new things along the way. =)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
another downpour
of course this was not the sight this afternoon it was much darker and zero visibility.today was supposed my first day to meet with my clients again. admittedly, i was excited to do my "rounds" again. but then, as fate would have it, the sky went dark at the same time i was planning to leave the office.
is this a sign that i should just put off the "rounds" for now and move it to next week? but i've done my tasks for the day and just doing whatever here in the office.
and just when i have accepted the fact that i can't leave the office anymore, the rain stopped and looked like it didn't rain at all. save for the wet cars passing through the streets.
hopefully, this tuesday, no more rainfall. i need to do my job!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
protecting myself
after 3 kids, my ob had scolded me for having kids 2 years each apart. she was worried that my boy hasn't recovered yet from the previous pregnancy. but, what were we to do now that i was carrying our third child right? so she told me, imposed actually that after i give birth, she'll put me on contraceptives. i obliged since it was in the plan initially after keon, but due to some miraculous intervention, kade was created.
we discussed what would be the right one for me. i told her i'm not reliable to take pills daily since i have the memory of a goldfish when it comes to taking medicine. patches, i might not afford it, IUD, too scary for me and so, we decided injectibles are the way to go. and all i have to do is to come back every three months for my injections.
of course i did my research about the good and the bad effects of injectibles (Depo Provera) from this source
i just had my first shot two weeks ago. so far i just have some spotting. the bloated feeling my ob warned me about hadn't taken effect yet, but i am praying it won't happen at all. what i am dreading is the weight gain. so right now, i'm starting to watch my weight and do everything i can to maintain my ideal weight of 115lbs. once i go back to work, i'm sure things would be easier since i'm more mobile and up and about.
hubby and i will soon test it's effectiveness. but not now or in the coming weeks or months. it's to risky yet since this is my first dose. i guess after my 3rd dose.
we discussed what would be the right one for me. i told her i'm not reliable to take pills daily since i have the memory of a goldfish when it comes to taking medicine. patches, i might not afford it, IUD, too scary for me and so, we decided injectibles are the way to go. and all i have to do is to come back every three months for my injections.
of course i did my research about the good and the bad effects of injectibles (Depo Provera) from this source
i just had my first shot two weeks ago. so far i just have some spotting. the bloated feeling my ob warned me about hadn't taken effect yet, but i am praying it won't happen at all. what i am dreading is the weight gain. so right now, i'm starting to watch my weight and do everything i can to maintain my ideal weight of 115lbs. once i go back to work, i'm sure things would be easier since i'm more mobile and up and about.
hubby and i will soon test it's effectiveness. but not now or in the coming weeks or months. it's to risky yet since this is my first dose. i guess after my 3rd dose.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
short hair dilemma
which one?? and how short should i go?
i'd love to post how hideous my hair looks like now, but that would scare off anyone who reads my blog hahaha.
how hideous? it's like a mullet with a dead electrocuted rat on it. my hair is awfully dry and oily at the same time. going in different directions. it's a pain to have this hair in this weather. hopefully this weekend, i'll be saying goodbye to bad hair.
and hopefully i get to rock a new color too. (do i hear a red? haha)
a little pocket of time
goodness! i have so much stuff to blog about but the moment i get my hands on my laptop and start typing away, my precious bunso starts fussing and cries. so everything takes a backseat when my kids call for attention.
the past few days have been quite a rollercoaster of a ride. been feeling high and low in a span of minutes. i'd hate to blame this on the contraceptive i'm having because it wasn't stated as a side effect that i'll be having any mood swings. i guess with the current situation our family is facing right now made me all the more sensitive.
and since i have a little pocket of time while the kids are still asleep, i shall attempt to even create one blog post/story in my to do list. this does not count by the way.
the past few days have been quite a rollercoaster of a ride. been feeling high and low in a span of minutes. i'd hate to blame this on the contraceptive i'm having because it wasn't stated as a side effect that i'll be having any mood swings. i guess with the current situation our family is facing right now made me all the more sensitive.
and since i have a little pocket of time while the kids are still asleep, i shall attempt to even create one blog post/story in my to do list. this does not count by the way.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
5 weeks
pardon the post partum drama laden blog post...
i was reading Daphne Osena's blog a few minutes ago and i came across one of her blog entries. she recently gave birth as well and more or less, we're in the same boat. and this blog entry validates what i have been going through.
in a way i can relate to her. having three kids, opting to not have a nanny for the third child and taking care of the household while at the same time, taking care of a demanding newborn.
the only difference is that she blogged about it on her 17th week of being with her newborn, i, on the otherhand, is just a few days shy of my 6th week post partum and here i am all drained, exhausted, semi depressed, and moody. 2 weeks or more to go and i'm back to work. half of me is dreading going back to work, half of me is looking forward to it.
it feels like after having this third angel has finally taken its toll on me. i seriously had a few years of rest, then i'm back to being pregnant again. i guess my body never had the full chance to recover from the first pregnancy. i have been looking in the mirror lately and i am not liking what i see. i look older than my age, i'm starting to grow some lines - worry lines, getting old lines in my face, my skin looks blotchy and dry, and a ton more. it's quite depressing really. and as much as i would want a total makeover, i'd rather spend the money i'm going to use on it for the kids.
i just hope that in the coming weeks, months or year, i can redeem myself and hopefully return to what i should look like in my age - or even just half of it.
i was reading Daphne Osena's blog a few minutes ago and i came across one of her blog entries. she recently gave birth as well and more or less, we're in the same boat. and this blog entry validates what i have been going through.
in a way i can relate to her. having three kids, opting to not have a nanny for the third child and taking care of the household while at the same time, taking care of a demanding newborn.
the only difference is that she blogged about it on her 17th week of being with her newborn, i, on the otherhand, is just a few days shy of my 6th week post partum and here i am all drained, exhausted, semi depressed, and moody. 2 weeks or more to go and i'm back to work. half of me is dreading going back to work, half of me is looking forward to it.
it feels like after having this third angel has finally taken its toll on me. i seriously had a few years of rest, then i'm back to being pregnant again. i guess my body never had the full chance to recover from the first pregnancy. i have been looking in the mirror lately and i am not liking what i see. i look older than my age, i'm starting to grow some lines - worry lines, getting old lines in my face, my skin looks blotchy and dry, and a ton more. it's quite depressing really. and as much as i would want a total makeover, i'd rather spend the money i'm going to use on it for the kids.
i just hope that in the coming weeks, months or year, i can redeem myself and hopefully return to what i should look like in my age - or even just half of it.
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