Motherhood

my first contribution to Kerol and her sister's blog. i was asked to write for them, share some insights about being a woman, a wife, a friend and everything in between.

i also consider myself as a non domestic diva.

click on the title to go to their site

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I wasn’t prepared for motherhood.


When P and I were still dating, both at a very young age of 23, both climbing the corporate ladder and establishing our careers in sales, P for an FMCG, while I was working for an local online portal in sales. The thought of being parents never crossed our minds. We were enjoying the moment of going out on impromptu road trips, dates after work, getting pissed drunk and not worrying about it the next day. That time, we were living the “perfect” life.

I never imagined myself being a mom. I had this idea that I would marry when I turn 30, with a well compensated job and maybe 1 kid. But then fate took a different course (not that I’m blaming fate), in 2004, I found out I was pregnant. The moment I saw those to pink lines I didn’t know what to do. I could not fathom the idea that at the age of 23, I was going to be a mom. I was still childish. I didn’t have a 5 year plan, long term goals and all that adult stuff. I lived in the moment.

How could I be a mom this young? I didn’t have any domestic skills at all. I can’t even cook a decent meal, I hated the thought of washing and ironing clothes, cleaning the house was literally a chore. What more, taking care of an infant? It took me the whole pregnancy to deal with these issues. I was scared, worried. Sure, I had taken care of my younger brothers when they were babies, but this was totally different, this person will come from me. I can’t hand the baby over to somebody else when there’s something wrong.

Everyday I was drowning in emotions. I was happy because I’ll have a baby, worried how can I take care of the baby when I don’t have any mommy instincts in me, depressed how can P and I provide for this baby? Seems like all the things mentioned in the book What to Expect, I went through.

The moment I was able to hold my son in my arms for the first time it felt like a motherhood switch was turned on. It felt like I finally knew what to do. It felt like I was meant to be a mom. Maybe I was one of the lucky ones to feel the motherhood vibe, that Johnson and Johnson mommy – child bonding, with tears rolling down the cheeks. Cheesy, but it’s true.

I wasn’t prepared for motherhood and being a mom, but I wasn’t prepared for the surprise that all the while I had it in me to be a mom. My son just had to turn on that switch. And after three wonderful kids, it feels like I have been doing this forever.

ways to keep the marriage interesting

a lot of marriages have gone stale because one or both partners forget to inject some laughter and light moments into their lives. isn't it one of the things that brought you closer to your spouse in the first place? he made you laugh at the silliest jokes, you'd share a private joke with each other, you'd tickle each other silly.

that's why hubby and i never forget to laugh. at each other, at things we do, with the kids and with our friends. laughter is an important part in our relationship. or else we'd die bored.

but sometimes we do forget sometimes and it's good that we get to laugh our hearts out again. especially last night. we were having such a great time. just the two of us. in our own little moment. but here's the thing: i can't remember why and what we were laughing about. all i can remember was we were laughing.

it was such a great feeling. i'm looking forward to more laugh moments with hubby.

what would you do?

if you're faced with two kids crying over one toy?

a. let it go and let them figure it out for themselves
b. give one each of the same toy
c. give a different activity for each child
d. do nothing

i did all four and well, each option works depending on the kid's temperament. i've been through hell being mommy referee. i can't comfort one and leave the other one. it's all a matter of compromise and my kids have taught me how to.

amazing how kids can teach you life lessons.

now i'm working my muscles to be mommy referee again, this time to three fighting boys soon. good luck to me! and i hope there's another lesson in there somewhere.

a little more each day

my kyle is a little boy no more. everyday, he learns something new and it amazes me that in just a few months, i'll have a 4 year old as a first born. how time flies that he has been quite dependent. a few things he can do on his own:

> go to the potty to pee
> take off his clothes before taking a bath
> get water
> eat on his own using adult sized utensils (bitin siya when he uses those kiddie sized ones)
> try to tie his shoelaces

and the latest achievement since last night: he can finally write his name without any assistance.

i got so teary-eyed that here is my little boy gaining more independence each day. part of me got scared that one day, he won't need me anymore. part of me wanted to keep him like that forever.

it was such a milestone for kyle and i because all the effort we went through in learning the letters of his name, to actually trying to write it on paper. he can already spell out his name (in case he gets lost daw (oh dear) and tell the guard his name.

i can't wait for his next milestone. i may not get to spend 100% of my time with him but i am happy that i still get to see his milestones. that i somehow get blessed in getting the chance to actually witness it for the first time. this is such a reward for me as a mom. not only to kyle but also to keon who, is sharing his own milestones with me.

i am truly blessed to have such wonderful kids. i can't wait what this third little wonder can do in the future.

Mommy Moments: Silly Moments

first time to join Mommy Moments and i love the theme!

Here are a few snapshots of the kids in their silly moments. :)





such silly boys! :)