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My life unplugged

my daily thoughts and ramblings on motherhood, raising my kids, being a wife and everything else in between that matters in our life.

Friday, April 23, 2010

when things get rough, this song picks me up

Thursday, April 22, 2010


my first contribution to Kerol and her sister's blog. i was asked to write for them, share some insights about being a woman, a wife, a friend and everything in between.

i also consider myself as a non domestic diva.

click on the title to go to their site

I wasn’t prepared for motherhood.

When P and I were still dating, both at a very young age of 23, both climbing the corporate ladder and establishing our careers in sales, P for an FMCG, while I was working for an local online portal in sales. The thought of being parents never crossed our minds. We were enjoying the moment of going out on impromptu road trips, dates after work, getting pissed drunk and not worrying about it the next day. That time, we were living the “perfect” life.

I never imagined myself being a mom. I had this idea that I would marry when I turn 30, with a well compensated job and maybe 1 kid. But then fate took a different course (not that I’m blaming fate), in 2004, I found out I was pregnant. The moment I saw those to pink lines I didn’t know what to do. I could not fathom the idea that at the age of 23, I was going to be a mom. I was still childish. I didn’t have a 5 year plan, long term goals and all that adult stuff. I lived in the moment.

How could I be a mom this young? I didn’t have any domestic skills at all. I can’t even cook a decent meal, I hated the thought of washing and ironing clothes, cleaning the house was literally a chore. What more, taking care of an infant? It took me the whole pregnancy to deal with these issues. I was scared, worried. Sure, I had taken care of my younger brothers when they were babies, but this was totally different, this person will come from me. I can’t hand the baby over to somebody else when there’s something wrong.

Everyday I was drowning in emotions. I was happy because I’ll have a baby, worried how can I take care of the baby when I don’t have any mommy instincts in me, depressed how can P and I provide for this baby? Seems like all the things mentioned in the book What to Expect, I went through.

The moment I was able to hold my son in my arms for the first time it felt like a motherhood switch was turned on. It felt like I finally knew what to do. It felt like I was meant to be a mom. Maybe I was one of the lucky ones to feel the motherhood vibe, that Johnson and Johnson mommy – child bonding, with tears rolling down the cheeks. Cheesy, but it’s true.

I wasn’t prepared for motherhood and being a mom, but I wasn’t prepared for the surprise that all the while I had it in me to be a mom. My son just had to turn on that switch. And after three wonderful kids, it feels like I have been doing this forever.

Monday, April 12, 2010

is it time for a pet?

kyle has been asking me if he can have a pet already for the past weeks. he was asking for a hamster, a dog/puppy, a lizard (gasp!) and other pet-worthy pets. i told him he can if he can answer this basic question:

will you clean up your pet after he poops and pees?

so far the answer is still a resounding NO, he would even say that poop and pee are yucky things and he will never touch those. that he even asked my why he should be the one cleaning u after his pet, isn't it my job to do that? (raising my eyebrows to high heavens). i had to explain to him that i do the cleaning/bathing etc for them because i'm their mommy and wen they're bigger, they'll choose to do those things on their own. pets can't do that.

so that means he's still not ready for one. i explained to him that having a pet is a big responsibility. you not only feed it, but also clean up and take care of it after.

although there are days when he asks me if he's ready to have a pet to take care of. and i just keep on asking him the same question. if he's willing to clean up after his pet then for sure, hubby and i would be willing to give him one. maybe starting with a pet hamster too.

let's wait and see.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

the strangest dream

a few nights ago i had the most bizarre and disturbing dream ever. it was so vivid that the moment i woke up, i could still recall the same scene over and over again.

i saw a white coffin with someone inside. but i don't know who that person was. a few moments after, i saw a green snake under the coffin. and then i woke up.

i had to research what these things mean, and here's what i found out:

To see a coffin in your dream, symbolizes the womb. It also signifies your thoughts and fears of death. If the coffin is empty, then it suggests that you are having some irreconcilable differences. Alternatively, the coffin represents ideas and habits that you are no longer of use and can be buried.

To see a body in a coffin, signifies that you are going through a period of depression. You may feel confined, restricted and that you are lacking personal freedom. There may be a dead or decaying situation or issue in your life that needs to be addressed. It is time to end this situation or relationship.

oookay. sure i was going through rough waters, and was actually thinking if i was bordering on depression. and here's the dream's meaning that i might be. and yes, there are issues and people that have been bothering me the past few months. is this a sign that it's time to let go?

how about the snake?

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality. If you are afraid of the snake, then it signifies your fears of sex, intimacy or commitment. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent healing, transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes. meanings by

To see the skin of a snake in your dream, represents protection from illnesses.

To dream that you are eating a live snake, indicates that you are looking for intimacy or sexual fulfillment. Your life is lacking sensuality and passion. If you vomit or throw up the snake, then it may mean that you are overcompensating for something that is lacking in your life. You may be rushing into something.

now this is interesting. the coffin and the snake works together. my dreams are telling me something. i think it's time to address these issues. but first, to consult hubby about these dreams.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

summer fun!

the upside of us staying with the in laws is the big playground. so much room to run around, get all sweaty and happy.

i miss going home early and seeing them this happy and active.

the price i have to pay for saving up for their future.

nothin on you

personally, i find the message of this song very positive.

that no matter how may beautiful women are out there, they wouldn't compare to the one the guy has.

and in a way, hubby says that too when i get into one of my jealous moods. hehe

hot in the city

manila's temperature yesterday reached a sweltering 36.1 degrees celcius. and it's not funny at all when you're living in a home with no aircon. (well, one aircon but it's in my parent's room and one aircon in my BIL's house).

the past few nights were spent at my in laws where not one but three electric fans running throughout the night. one for hubby and keon to share, the other for kade and i to share, the other for SIL. kyle chose to sleep in BIL's room and at the request of his cousin, Migs.

sleeping at night was torture, especially for me since i don't have my comfort pillows and my usual evening rituals (hehe). i haven't been getting the sleep that i need since i have to constantly check the kids in the middle of the night in case they're getting soaked by their own sweat. good thing they can still sleep peacefully.

and just this morning before leaving for work, power had been cut off. meralco decided to go with their rotational brownouts again. just when the heat has been really really annoying.

i was more worried for kade because he has started to have prickly heat around his neck, which for sure all mommies would agree, is one of our worst enemies during the summer. plus the fact that kade's hair is quite long already and has been reaching his eyes. so he tends to rub, scratch and tug at his hair.(our tradition is to have their first haircut on their first birthday, so a little sacrifice on our part and our boys)

our best solution:

put his hair up in pigtails. which obviously by the looks of this picture, he's not liking it at all. haha! but a little sacrifice has to be made for more comfort for the little one.

but he sure looks cute right?

kade: "hay naku mommy..." LOL

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


is that you kade?

oh hey there kyle!

these two boys are such carbon copies of me when i was a kid. keon's no contest, came from the same mold as his dad's :)

separation anxiety all over again

kade has turned 9 months yesterday and he has discovered another milestone/feat. whenever i leave him in the crib to grab something quick, he would wail, and call out to me. or whenever i hand him over to his dad for some little daddy-son bonding, he protests, which, to hubby's dismay. i feel bad for hubby that sometimes he gets the impression that his bunso doesn't want him that much vs me. but of course he went through the same thing with our two boys before. it's just heartbreaking to see him that way.

he often jokes that our sons prefer me over him, but i've assured him a hundred times that by the time they reach grade school (which is not far by the looks of it since kyle's in kinder already) they'll be the best of friends and mommy will be the enemy.

but really, deep inside, i love the attention i get from my boys when they were this young. that i am their star, the only thing they need. well, now it's only kade who's doing it for me. kyle and keon have grown up to do things on their own and usually needs me when they want milk or go to the potty.

how time flies so fast that soon enough, these three boys would be so embarrassed to let me kiss them to death, smell their feet and armpits, cuddle and make funny noises before bedtime.

i think i'm the one having separation anxiety for the past 5 years now. hahaha

Monday, April 5, 2010

shoe envy

i've been on the lookout for the perfect purple shoes for my wedding, and i'm stuck. i've got a lot of photos over the net and i don't know which one to choose to have customized. yes, if i can't purchase it online, i'm going to have it custom made. :)

now, help me choose:

the studs are fab! but it doesn't work with our 1920's theme. but the color, to die for!

choices, choices, choices...

shaping up

my weight has seriously bothered me for quite a while. it started when i first had my shot of depo-provera aka injectibles. i was forewarned by my ob that i would feel a little bloated after a month or so.

a little bloated was a lie. boy i did gain a lot. embarrassing as it may sound, but i'm now at 130lbs. 15lbs heavier than my ideal weight.

as of my last check up/shot with my ob, she said, i had to lose those 15lbs. at first i wasn't that worried since i don't look that heavy and people have said i looked better now.

but, there's a wedding in november and I HAVE TO SHED these pounds off. i wouldn't want to look all bloated and "chubby" on my wedding day.

so, i started taking l carnatine and green tea capsules 3x a day (aka fitrum) the other slimming pills in the market scare me. sure, it's effective and all but the thought of feeling oil coming out of you involuntarily doesn't sound so appealing at all.

and i also plan to go to the gym by this month. good thing our office has a corporate package with one of the well known gyms here in the metro. as soon as i settle the LAST payment for my credit card. i'm debt free and can really save up for the kid's future.

now let's see in the coming months if i do shed off these pounds, maybe more!

wish me luck!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

to cut or let it grow

my hair's been quite a mess for almost a month now. a huge mess. it's more confused than i am. it's too long to be a short 'do, but too short for a shoulder length do.

now i'm all torn in cutting it, and go back to my usual short hair or grow it long so that there'll be more styles in time for my wedding.

but for now i'm loving this 'do:

now with this hair do, how do i maintain it? do i have to use a hairdryer everyday? wax? styling serum? anti-frizz serums?

i'd rather not post what my hair looks like now or else i might lose the handful of readers i have now. hahaha!