short story: not so grown up yet

this story just popped in my head and i just had to write it and save it before it becomes another "stored" Story in my head.

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Mom?

I see his silhouette in the hallway light. He’s clutching his favorite pillow, his pajamas reaching his ankles. When did he grow so tall? I wonder to myself.

What’s wrong? I ask him.

I had a bad dream. Can I sleep beside you and daddy tonight?

Sure. I make space for him in the middle of the bed. He snuggles without hesitation. He still smells like a baby. I hold his hand. He lays his head on my chest. I hug him. I hear him sigh.

I miss moments like these when he was young and I had him all to myself. I was his one and only. Now I have to contend with the toys, his playmates, school, and other activities.

Do you want to talk about your bad dream? I ask him.

Just scary monsters. I might dream of them again when I go back to sleep. He says.

A few minutes of silence. I thought he fell asleep already.

Mom?

Yes?

Will you still let me sleep between you and daddy when I’m bigger and I dream of monsters again? he asked with worry in his voice. Lately he had been vocal about being all grown up and that he can do things big boys (his age) can do.

I smile.

Of course, as long as you need mommy and daddy, we’re here. Even if you’re a big boy.

That’s nice. Because I love sleeping beside you and daddy. It makes me happy.

My heart melts.

hot in the city

manila's temperature yesterday reached a sweltering 36.1 degrees celcius. and it's not funny at all when you're living in a home with no aircon. (well, one aircon but it's in my parent's room and one aircon in my BIL's house).

the past few nights were spent at my in laws where not one but three electric fans running throughout the night. one for hubby and keon to share, the other for kade and i to share, the other for SIL. kyle chose to sleep in BIL's room and at the request of his cousin, Migs.

sleeping at night was torture, especially for me since i don't have my comfort pillows and my usual evening rituals (hehe). i haven't been getting the sleep that i need since i have to constantly check the kids in the middle of the night in case they're getting soaked by their own sweat. good thing they can still sleep peacefully.

and just this morning before leaving for work, power had been cut off. meralco decided to go with their rotational brownouts again. just when the heat has been really really annoying.

i was more worried for kade because he has started to have prickly heat around his neck, which for sure all mommies would agree, is one of our worst enemies during the summer. plus the fact that kade's hair is quite long already and has been reaching his eyes. so he tends to rub, scratch and tug at his hair.(our tradition is to have their first haircut on their first birthday, so a little sacrifice on our part and our boys)

our best solution:

put his hair up in pigtails. which obviously by the looks of this picture, he's not liking it at all. haha! but a little sacrifice has to be made for more comfort for the little one.

but he sure looks cute right?

kade: "hay naku mommy..." LOL

yaya-less

we had a trying long weekend. hubby and i made plans to take out the three kids since it was a long weekend. but then one thing ruined all our plans.

kyle's yaya left. just like that.

she has been expressing for quite a while that she wanted to leave already but we had to persuade her to stay for a little bit longer. and the last time she asked if she can leave we agreed, on one condition. once we find a replacement, she can leave.

but with the turn of events. her sister working for my MIL, them having a bit of a aquabble, everything that was agreed upon, was left to nothing. when i heard this, i was mad. who wouldn't? taking care of 3 kids is no joke and i need all the extra hands. and here she goes packing up.

what made me more annoyed was the fact that she was just waiting for her monthly salary. once hubby handed it over to her, she grabbed her bags, said her thanks and left.

i don't want to call her an ingrate but from the way she acted. she deserves to be called such.

not to be bitter or anything bu i sure hope their decision to leave would be fruitful and they get to find a much better boss than us. we were never selfish, we always let them go on day offs even if we stated from the start that they can have one once a month. we were that nice. we never treated them as people below us. we treated them nice because they were the second caregivers to my kids when i'm not at home.

but if ever she does come back, i won't accept her anymore. she decided to leave, we decided to look for someone much better.

now i'm hoping the new yaya we'll meet tomorrow would be much better and would be a gem. and i sure hope kyle and keon would like her. the deciding factor would be my kids. they're good judges of character.

before the month ends

i have been so caught up with work that this blog took a backseat. and it saddens me that i've neglected my blog for weeks. i've stored up lots of stories but i just didn't have the time at all.

so what have i been up to?

> i finally received the blessings i was waiting for a long time. this helped a lot with the family expenses. and at least now, i'm down to one loan payment. yey!

> the first 3 months of my injectibles and so far, it has been smooth sailing. the bad part though is the weight gain, but i'm not complaining, people said i looked better now. :)

> the kids are doing great. kyle's done with his 2nd quarter exams which i hope he passed with flying colors. we're also hoping for a first honor award this time. keon's still struggling with his terrible twos, he's been quite clingy to his yaya and usually ends up crying over little things. kade's growing up so fast that i can't believe he's turning 4 months already!

> we're already working on kade's baptism this november. just a little get together with friends and family.

> work has been great. it's not routine like it was before and now we've got more people on the team compared to a few months before when it was only me. one woman team for the digital department. :)

> hubby's doing great at work too. he's no longer frazzled and stressed unlike the first few months when he got promoted. but of course, the stress of manning a staff of 120 people comes with the job. thank god that there are only a handful of those who are disobedient. :)

on the homefront...

the past few weeks have been quite hell for me. i won't go into the details since it's quite personal and i dont want to step into people's toes. but things on the homefront in my perspective are quite misplaced.

i've been keeping quiet so as not to put pressure into involving hubby. my planner/diary has been a silent witness to all my rants and complaints. i've stood my ground, sticking to my decision, hoping that hubby can also see my side before he could go and make his own. at least he could weigh the options better.

an added responsibility other than or own family is quite too much to handle right now and added pressure won't remedy the situation. especially on our end.

and as much as possible, i would prefer if we could focus first on wiping out our debts this year to finally save up for our family and soon move out to our own home. it's time for us to be independent. and the best bet for this is to move to another country. avoid all the drama, the issues and the negativity.

as selfish at that may sound but i think we deserve that. since we have a family of our own, we have to focus on our priorities and expenses. other things take a backseat in the meantime. we are in fact raising 3 kids, another mouth to feed or sustain isn't practical right now. especially those who don't know how to reciprocate even in kindness and kind words.

the delinquent blogger mommy

i missed blogging so much. but taking care of a newborn - well, almost a month old baby, takes up 80% of my day. the 20% goes to the other two kids, and a little me time that i get as much as i can.

this me time would be spent online checking up on my friends, my social networks etc. i really can't let go of my online life.

i have a lot of things lined up to be blogged about:

> kade's birthing story
> kyle's 4th birthday
> keon's milestones
> taking care of a newborn all over again
> having the baby blues
> hubby's promotion - the ups and the downs
> and the other things i discovered here and there

but i'm taking it one day at a time. soon, i'll be able to complete this list.

and yeah, i am looking forward to going back to work but i'm torn in leaving kade at home. we still have to work on a schedule since we won't get kade a nanny. our 2 nannies would take turns in taking care of him in the meantime. i sure hope, our schedule works. but we're still crossing our fingers on this - wish us luck!

kade xedric is here!

just dropping by my blog to announce the birth of our third angel, kade xedric.

born on the 4th of july at 1146am. just in time, just the right moment. he waited for me to finish all my pending tasks in the office before he made his grand entrance. he even made sure i was able to go out with his older brothers a weekend before his birth, a dinner and movie date with hubby a few days before the big day.

and when the big day finally came, it was the smoothest and by far the easiest deliveries i had (and as far as i know, the one i can remember quite vividly).

seeing him after, was truly breathtaking.

all the details, all the stories will have to wait for now (plus photos) since i have to devote all my time to this little one. and i've got the best 2 months to bond with him until i go back to work and start missing him.

Still rooting for the Blue team

praying to be on Team Pink was not granted. we're still rooting for Team Blue. and they say, the third time's a charm.

it was an eventful saturday. went to the hospital for the routine lab tests and pre natal check up. i took a chance to see if there's any glimmer of hope to be on team pink. i was with kyle that afternoon hoping that he'll witness for the first time his first wish coming true. but sadly, my little boy went out of the sonologist's clinic defeated and confused. i on the other hand was a giddy preggy mom. giddy and a bit disappointed i guess. deep inside i wanted a girl, but then this is god's plan for me to raise men not ladies. but over-all, i am happy the baby's doing great.

after getting the results, i immediately called up my bestfriend to tell the news. hubby at that time was in a meeting and i just had to call someone up. when i was able to talk to hubby, all he could do was let out a chuckle of relief. from being free of having a little princess to worry about growing up. so yeah, all the worrying will be up to me. by the time these 3 grow up into adolescents, i'll be the enemy and daddy's going to be the best friend. but i will put up a fight. i shall baby them until they cry their eyes out. haha!

so yes, dear readers, we're having another baby boy. and no, we don't plan to start a basketball team.

mother's day for the 4th time

i may not have photos to capture the moment but spending time with my kids are the best gifts ever. hearing them call out to mommy with such need and urgency makes me love my job.

and the best part, i get to be mom all over again, once this little bundle comes out. which by the way still keeps the gender a big mystery! it would have been a great mother's day gift to know right? but that's for next week i guess.

and of course, to my mom who has been enduring all our drama for 28 years. nobody does it better. :)

happy mother's day to all the mommies out there!

LP#56: Simula pa lang

Ganito kami noon, mga batang magulang. Medyo ligaw pa sa pag-aalaga ng isang sanggol. sa tingin ng iba kami'y naglalaro lamang ng bahay-bahayan. halatang hindi pa handa sa bigay ng tadhana. ngunit sa mga ngiti namin, kami ang pinaka swerte na tao sa buong mundo dahil may anghel kami sa lupa.

at ito ang simula ng aming masayang pamilya.

happy LP sa inyo!

a lonely home

this is what greeted me when i left for work this morning:


an empty house. no toys on the floor, no screams of "mommy'. no disney channel on cable. just a bare and quiet home.

day 1 and i miss my kids terribly. 3 weeks to go. 3 weeks of silence.

Happy Easter!

I hope you guys had a blessed Holy Week aka long weekend! How did you spend yours? With the family at home or on a roadtrip to somewhere?

Our family spent the holy week just lazing around at home with a few visits here and there to the inlaws. We were too lazy to even move because of the heat and the slightest movement would leave us, especially me in fits of sweating.

Good Friday was spent with the kids just watching a special preview of Playhouse Disney, which sadly would end this Wednesday. I know good Friday is supposed to be solemn and observed. But with toddlers in the house and can get restless in a matter of seconds, we have to find something that would catch their attention. And Playhouse Disney is the way to go.

Black Saturday was spent the same thing as Friday but with trip to the inlaws. MIL was missing the boys too much and we brought the kids to her. As much as we would want to spend the night there, it just wasn’t possible since there were/are too many kids and adults in the house. Staying over would make things more complicated and well, chaotic. Which I am trying to avoid.

Come Easter Sunday, hubby and I decided to finally get some work done in our little bedroom. We’ve finally cleared the cabinets and drawers of unwanted and unused stuff. It was a good day indeed. The room looked cleaner and more bright. Next on our agenda is if we are to purchase a 0.75 HP aircon unit and Venetian blinds since the blinds in our room are slowly giving up.

So, that’s how our Holy Week went and so far. Now, hubby and I have to start planning ahead for the coming months and for next year. Now I’m off to make those lists in my planner.

Happy Easter!!

things going missing

i don't know if i'm just really forgetful because of the pregnancy or just plain irresponsible but it has been a month already and i can't seem to find the battery charger of our digicam.

as far as i know, i remember when i last placed that darned case and now, it's not there.

i guess this is a sign as well that i have to start doing a major cleaning frenzy in our room and our house...

all those pictures waiting to be blogged and uploaded. :(

The Pregnancy Update begins

i've decided to create and (hopefully) maintain a pregnancy update if not monthly, weekly if time and the right moment permits. i realized that i didn't document much of the two boy's progress while they were still inside me. heck, i even failed to upload my birthing story of keon which has been stuckin my 2006 starbucks planner all this time.

and i a venture into another milestone and another baby on the way, i think it's time to create a disturbance in the system - so to speak.

on with the pregnancy updates then!

time to save up

the economy is down, prices are going up, so where do we stand? how do you cut down on spending but at the same time make sure your family is living comfortably?

one of the things we cut down on spending is buying newspapers on a daily basis. with news being available and up to date when we access the internet, it's not a practical choice anymore to buy newspapers daily. and considering almost everyone in my family is out, either in school or at work. so, we opted to buy them during the weekends when the whole family is at home and not glued to the pc. we not only save the environment but at the same time save up on having my parents visit their eye doctor and have their eyes checked, their eyeglasses checked and if their lenses require an upgrade to a higher grade. Buying new eyeglasses and lenses is no joke, it must fit comfortably and it wouldn't cause a lot of strain on the user. thank god for stores that sell affordable eyeglasses.

fighting over the weekend

it was a great feeling that a "fight" happened over the weekend. no, it's not a typical fight where people got physical. it was a matter of my two boys fighting for mommy's attention.

it was a good feeling indeed. my boys missed me so much after going home during the weekdays later than usual. the weekend compensated for everything.

if only i captured the moment on video and keep it forever.

and to the dismay of their daddy, because my boys are definitely mommy's boys. but in due time, they'll be daddy's barkada and i'll be the enemy. but for now, this is my moment. :)

if only it was that easy kid...

i seriously envy those moms who have jumped the fence to stay at home mommy-hood. the perks of being with your kids 24/7.

sadly i'm one of the few who has to work to make ends meet (dramatic yes) and to save up for their futures. not that i'm saying sahms are not earning. the mommy bloggers are quite the rage now and an emerging target market. i'm just happy and blessed that with the work i have, i can still blog and earn while meeting deadlines, making presentations, and reaching quotas. good thing the paid opps are usually given at night so there's no conflict with work. one click of the publish button and i'm done.

so anyway, the point of this entry is that, i wanted to share something my eldest kyle told me. he's been quite vocal already and the conversations that we have are quite entertaining. it feels like i'm not talking to a 3 year old but someone much older than he is.

it was only last week when we were both watching cartoons while waiting for his schoolbus to arrive when he told me this:

"mommy, don't go office na ha? stay here with kyle and keon. wait for me to go home after school"

right then and there my heart melted at the though that my son wanted to be with me more than the hours we spend when i get home from work. admittedly, i had a few lapses. i came home late seeing him peacefully asleep. keon, on the other hand has been prepped for bedtime.

i wanted so much to drop everything and not go to work at all. to bug and cuddle and play with my kids all day.

but reality-wise, it's not that practical at all. as much as i would want to, there's this me inside with pride that would prefer to work and earn money through my own efforts and struggles. i'd rather not let all the burden fall on aishi's hands. as long as we're here in this country, i have to make sacrifices.

maybe, when we get to migrate in 2 year's time. things might make a 360 degree turn.

but for now, kyle and keon, it's not that easy. but soon. mommy will find a way. i want to be a WAHM you know...

21 ways to enjoy being a mom

credits to Parenting.com who has been a great resource and life saver when i am literally in the dark in handling two toddlers.

i may be this steady mom to some friends who looks like parenting is a breeze, but if not for parenting.com and babycenter. i would be frazzled, wallowing in 2 post partum depressions and haggard looking 26 year old.

this is to all the moms and dads out there! Parenting Rocks!

21 ways to enjoy being a mom

1. When you're tired, hand your kids a brush, point to your head, and tell them to play beauty parlor. When you're really tired, pretend that you're Sleeping Beauty. - amen!

2. Take your mother to a spa. While you're both getting seaweed wraps, tell her all your favorite memories of growing up. - i think this would be impossible. haha!

3. Take a bath with your infant. Make sure your husband is around for the handoff, so you can relax until the last minute. (Don't forget to smell your baby right afterward. Heaven!) - exactly!

4. At the end of every summer, take a family photo for the holiday card (you'll be happy to have this accomplished once December comes). Every year, add a framed 11-by-14-inch print to your front hall. Your kids will be proud now and laugh later at the funny styles. - this is in the family pipeline (that sounds very sales-like! haha)

5. On St. Patrick's Day, dye the milk and eggs green and turn the furniture upside down so your home looks like total chaos. When your little ones wake up, tell them that the leprechauns came.

6. The next time you have to go to a boring kiddie activity, invite another mom-friend along. Hide wine in sippy cups for the two of you to nurse undercover. -haha nice idea!

7. Play Freaky Friday with your husband and switch roles for a day. Enjoy his renewed appreciation for his Super Mom wife. - i know!!

8. . In the dead of winter, fix some snacks, get under warm quilts, and watch Happy Feet on DVD. Tell your kids you love them even more than the penguins love their chicks. - no winter here in the Philippines but this is a great idea!

9. Go to the beach in the off-season. Throw rocks in the water and collect shells. Put them in a vase and use it as shelf decor in your living room.

10. Skip the Raffi and Barney. Turn your kids on to Bob Marley, They Might Be Giants, and Gwen Stefani. - hey, where's the beatles, the who, incubus etc?

11. Take your baby out to the movies at night. (Infants love the dark, and loud trailers make them snooze immediately.) Then you can sip your soda and munch your popcorn in peace. - is this true?

12. Buy yourself that fancy watch, strand of pearls, or whatever piece of expensive jewelry you've been lusting after. Justify your purchase by rationalizing that you'll pass it down to your daughter (or son's wife) eventually. -haha! i'll leave this to hubby. books for me. :)

13. Take your kids to live music performances from very early ages. Cheap ones outdoors are great to start with in case you need to make a hasty exit (like when a diaper explodes).

14. Use your kids as an excuse to do the things you want to do, like going to silly feel-good movies, eating mac and cheese for dinner, and jumping in the moonbounce. Use your kids as an excuse to get out of things you don't want to do, like going to a wedding or office party. - oh yes!

15. Every Mother's Day, have a picture taken with your kids. Keep the photos all together - along with special cards, ticket stubs, mementos, and anything else that makes you feel good about being a mom - in a shoe box. (Of course, you must get those new shoes you love in order to do this correctly.) Every year, look through your Goddess Mom box and see how much your kids have grown. - goddess mom, i like that! must buy shoes, more shoes then! for the boxes of course!

16. Give your kids quiet time every day. Let them learn to be by themselves with books, crayons, or blocks. - exactly!

17. Let your whole family take a day off and hang out in pj's all day long. - we call that weekends

18. Rent Sex and the City on DVD, and reminisce about the days when you were single and the biggest problem you had was whether the "He" of the moment was going to call. Let the romance of your youth seduce you. Then remember that, despite your freedom, all you really wanted was to fall in love and have beautiful babies. -amen!

19. Pitch a tent in the backyard. Use it as your outdoor reading room. Or when there's a full moon, plan a family campout with sleeping bags, a transistor radio, and s'mores, of course.

20. Invent a house fairy. Give her a name, and tell your kids that she is always watching them and counting up their good deeds.

21. Listen for the deep, happy sighs that come after your kids play or laugh really hard. Tuck them away in your heart. - i wish my heart's big enough to keep all the sighs and love moments i have with my kids. never a day goes by without something new to tuck in my heart.

my mom's nesting again

For some weird reason, my mother had been bugging my dad to make a few changes around the house. Especially the furnitures. She started with the sofa, then the chairs in the dining room, then my brother’s bedsheets.

What’s her latest fixation? The ceiling fan in our living room. She has been browsing through appliance and furniture magazines looking for the best inspiration for ceiling fans . there were quite a few that she liked. And out of curiosity, I checked them out. Some were impressive, some were over the top compared to our simple home.

Even if I suggest what design I want, I’m sure she wouldn’t listen. She has her heart set on a modern ceiling fan design which I’m sure she’s going to get this weekend.

This is what we get when my mom has retired from being a banker.

cross post: missing my cousins in NZ

my cousins migrated to NZ. Kai and Renz. they sure have grown up to be really pretty and handsome teens! must be the good genes we have, hehehe (evidenced by kyle and keon, and me. hahahahahahaha )

i just miss my fave cousins!

RENZ: the once chubby, marshmallow little boy turned out into a hunk. harry potter is that you?!?!?!
KAI: the little princess turned into a fine young lady. little miss heartbreaker in the making? haha lagot ako sa dad mo. :P


i'm sure denise would look as pretty as you guys are now. :)


we'll see you SOON in NZ. :D