mommy blues

post created: March 24. while in the office.
Bah.

That’s how I feel right now. It’s hard to put on a positive face and outlook when things are not what you expect it to be.

I’m trying to keep things under wraps so that people wouldn’t get too involved and I would rather handle things on my own. It is and was in fact my own doing really, so I really have to face it head on- on my own.

I really should start on the things the secret taught me, but right now, I’m having a hard time.

When you have a lot of stuff on my mind, keeping a positive outlook and attitude is quite hard. For now.

I hope in the coming weeks, things turn out for the better.

It’s hard and honestly, divine intervention wouldn’t cut it. It need more elbow grease rather than relying on the big guy up there for everything. He usually gives the last push, the last big push actually.

~On to lighter things…

My little boys have been quite demanding this long weekend off from work. They’ve been craving for my attention the whole time which makes me happy and stressed at the same time. But why should I complain right? It’s a good concern that my boys do get to fight over me when they do get the chance to spend time with me. The only thing though is that at the back of my mind, aishi gets jealous. That’s why I make an effort to sometimes “push” my kids to their dada so that his feelings won’t get hurt.

Keon has been quite fussy the whole time. Imagine from thrusday night until last Saturday, he kept on waking up at 330 am. Waking me up, wanting milk, wanting me to play with him. Admittedly I was quite exhausted and just got in the groove of deep sleep when little one would tap me or get my tigger pillow.

Can’t get annoyed, it’s my little one asking for attention – at an ungodly hour.

The weird part? He slept through the night last night. Woke up the usual time he wakes up. Did he did that on purpose during the times he knew I didn’t have work the next day? Maybe.

Looking back, it was quite endearing. He does make his own little way of spending time with me if his kuya hogs me.

And I couldn’t be happier.

I just hope he won’t do that again when I have work.