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My life unplugged

my daily thoughts and ramblings on motherhood, raising my kids, being a wife and everything else in between that matters in our life.

Monday, July 14, 2008

The trouble with tantrums

The trouble with tantrums

I thought the worst was over when we hurdled the terrible twos phase earlier than expected. I thought we could sit back and relax, do arts and crafts, sing nursery rhymes, laugh and scream our hearts out. Oh boy, these things came with a price. A big price.

Eversince turning 3 was looming in the horizon, Kyle had started to have this tantrum attacks where he would want one thing and reject it the next. He would hate having his baths before school and we would always end up in crying fits with a few hitting and slapping (from kyle of course). I felt bad that his nanny would get the most hits and slaps. But I applaud her patience for not hitting back. She really is an angel to me and kyle.

I have been researching on what is this thing about kids turning 3 and the mood swings. I had my share of mood swings too. Where I would entertain thoughts of spanking my kid, and far worse thoughts but I had to stop myself and resort to just crying or trying to think happy thoughts. or even locking myself in the bathroom for 10 minutes.

It has been a long learning process and everyday I have to come up with things that would make the tantrum fizzle out.

Here are some things I learned:

> Tantrums are normal. Kids have emotions too and they just don’t know how to handle it. It’s an emotional sneeze where they have to let out the thing the bothers them to make everything clear.
> Let you child deal with the tantrum, be there for the kid. Let him vent it out. It will pass. It’s better to have a kid throwing a tantrum than being in a good disposition 100% of the time. This just means that you child is in tune with his emotions. All we, as parents have to do is listen and not ride on the tantrum because they’re not following what we want them to do or if they don’t know what they want. Compromise.
> It helps kids learn to think and find out how to get what they want. It lets them explore. Tantrums may be because they just can’t figure out what they really want. As long as you are there for them with or without support, it would satisfy them.
> And of course good ol hugs are one of the best remedies to calming a child. Works everytime. When kyle’s in a fit, I would let him cry for a while, stomp his feet etc. then let him come near him, then I hug him. In a few minutes, crying subsides and we can then talk about what he wants or what bothers him. Mommy’s hugs are the best I tell you.

So, what have I learned from this? Tantrums are still big surprises and one must be on their toes. One solution may not work for now, some may never work. But the most important is to be there when your kid is throwing a tantrum. Maybe it’s his way of telling you, hey mom/dad you need to spend more time with me.

How’s that for a thought?

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